Five For...As a Man Thinketh- Part 2
2. Effect of Thought on Circumstances
MAN'S mind may be likened to a garden, which may be intelligently cultivated or allowed to run wild; but whether cultivated or neglected, it must, and will, bring forth. If no useful seeds are put into it, then an abundance of useless weed-seeds will fall therein, and will continue to produce their kind.
Just as a gardener cultivates his plot, keeping it free from weeds, and growing the flowers and fruits which he requires, so may a man tend the garden of his mind, weeding out all the wrong, useless, and impure thoughts, and cultivating toward perfection the flowers and fruits of right, useful, and pure thoughts. By pursuing this process, a man sooner or later discovers that he is the master-gardener of his soul, the director of his life. He also reveals, within himself, the laws of thought, and understands, with ever-increasing accuracy, how the thought-forces and mind elements operate in the shaping of his character, circumstances, and destiny.
Thought and character are one, and as character can only manifest and discover itself through environment and circumstance, the outer conditions of a person's life will always be found to be harmoniously related to his inner state. This does not mean that a man's circumstances at any given time are an indication of his entire character, but that those circumstances are so intimately connected with some vital thought-element within himself that, for the time being, they are indispensable to his development.
Every man is where he is by the law of his being; the thoughts which he has built into his character have brought him there, and in the arrangement of his life there is no element of chance, but all is the result of a law which cannot err. This is just as true of those who feel "out of harmony" with their surroundings as of those who are contented with them.
As a progressive and evolving being, man is where he is that he may learn that he may grow; and as he learns the spiritual lesson which any circumstance contains for him, it passes away and gives place to other circumstances.
Man is buffeted by circumstances so long as he believes himself to be the creature of outside conditions, but when he realizes that he is a creative power, and that he may command the hidden soil and seeds of his being out of which circumstances grow, he then becomes the rightful master of himself.
That circumstances grow out of thought every man knows who has for any length of time practised self-control and self-purification, for he will have noticed that the alteration in his circumstances has been in exact ratio with his altered mental condition. So true is this that when a man earnestly applies himself to remedy the defects in his character, and makes swift and marked progress, he passes rapidly through a succession of vicissitudes.
The soul attracts that which it secretly harbours; that which it loves, and also that which it fears; it reaches the height of its cherished aspirations; it falls to the level of its unchastened desires,—and circumstances are the means by which the soul receives its own.
Every thought-seed sown or allowed to fall into the mind, and to take root there, produces its own, blossoming sooner or later into act, and bearing its own fruitage of opportunity and circumstance. Good thoughts bear good fruit, bad thoughts bad fruit.
The outer world of circumstance shapes itself to the inner world of thought, and both pleasant and unpleasant external conditions are factors, which make for the ultimate good of the individual. As the reaper of his own harvest, man learns both by suffering and bliss.
Following the inmost desires, aspirations, thoughts, by which he allows himself to be dominated, (pursuing the will-o'-the-wisps of impure imaginings or steadfastly walking the highway of strong and high endeavour), a man at last arrives at their fruition and fulfilment in the outer conditions of his life. The laws of growth and adjustment everywhere obtains.
A man does not come to the almshouse or the jail by the tyranny of fate or circumstance, but by the pathway of grovelling thoughts and base desires. Nor does a pure-minded man fall suddenly into crime by stress of any mere external force; the criminal thought had long been secretly fostered in the heart, and the hour of opportunity revealed its gathered power. Circumstance does not make the man; it reveals him to himself. No such conditions can exist as descending into vice and its attendant sufferings apart from vicious inclinations, or ascending into virtue and its pure happiness without the continued cultivation of virtuous aspirations; and man, therefore, as the lord and master of thought, is the maker of himself the shaper and author of environment. Even at birth the soul comes to its own and through every step of its earthly pilgrimage it attracts those combinations of conditions which reveal itself, which are the reflections of its own purity and, impurity, its strength and weakness.
Men do not attract that which they want, but that which they are. Their whims, fancies, and ambitions are thwarted at every step, but their inmost thoughts and desires are fed with their own food, be it foul or clean. The "divinity that shapes our ends" is in ourselves; it is our very self. Only himself manacles man: thought and action are the gaolers of Fate—they imprison, being base; they are also the angels of Freedom—they liberate, being noble. Not what he wishes and prays for does a man get, but what he justly earns. His wishes and prayers are only gratified and answered when they harmonize with his thoughts and actions.
In the light of this truth, what, then, is the meaning of "fighting against circumstances?" It means that a man is continually revolting against an effect without, while all the time he is nourishing and preserving its cause in his heart. That cause may take the form of a conscious vice or an unconscious weakness; but whatever it is, it stubbornly retards the efforts of its possessor, and thus calls aloud for remedy.
Men are anxious to improve their circumstances, but are unwilling to improve themselves; they therefore remain bound. The man who does not shrink from self-crucifixion can never fail to accomplish the object upon which his heart is set. This is as true of earthly as of heavenly things. Even the man whose sole object is to acquire wealth must be prepared to make great personal sacrifices before he can accomplish his object; and how much more so he who would realize a strong and well-poised life?
Here is a man who is wretchedly poor. He is extremely anxious that his surroundings and home comforts should be improved, yet all the time he shirks his work, and considers he is justified in trying to deceive his employer on the ground of the insufficiency of his wages. Such a man does not understand the simplest rudiments of those principles which are the basis of true prosperity, and is not only totally unfitted to rise out of his wretchedness, but is actually attracting to himself a still deeper wretchedness by dwelling in, and acting out, indolent, deceptive, and unmanly thoughts.
Here is a rich man who is the victim of a painful and persistent disease as the result of gluttony. He is willing to give large sums of money to get rid of it, but he will not sacrifice his gluttonous desires. He wants to gratify his taste for rich and unnatural viands and have his health as well. Such a man is totally unfit to have health, because he has not yet learned the first principles of a healthy life.
Here is an employer of labour who adopts crooked measures to avoid paying the regulation wage, and, in the hope of making larger profits, reduces the wages of his workpeople. Such a man is altogether unfitted for prosperity, and when he finds himself bankrupt, both as regards reputation and riches, he blames circumstances, not knowing that he is the sole author of his condition.
I have introduced these three cases merely as illustrative of the truth that man is the causer (though nearly always is unconsciously) of his circumstances, and that, whilst aiming at a good end, he is continually frustrating its accomplishment by encouraging thoughts and desires which cannot possibly harmonize with that end. Such cases could be multiplied and varied almost indefinitely, but this is not necessary, as the reader can, if he so resolves, trace the action of the laws of thought in his own mind and life, and until this is done, mere external facts cannot serve as a ground of reasoning.
Circumstances, however, are so complicated, thought is so deeply rooted, and the conditions of happiness vary so, vastly with individuals, that a man's entire soul-condition (although it may be known to himself) cannot be judged by another from the external aspect of his life alone. A man may be honest in certain directions, yet suffer privations; a man may be dishonest in certain directions, yet acquire wealth; but the conclusion usually formed that the one man fails because of his particular honesty, and that the other prospers because of his particular dishonesty, is the result of a superficial judgment, which assumes that the dishonest man is almost totally corrupt, and the honest man almost entirely virtuous. In the light of a deeper knowledge and wider experience such judgment is found to be erroneous. The dishonest man may have some admirable virtues, which the other does, not possess; and the honest man obnoxious vices which are absent in the other. The honest man reaps the good results of his honest thoughts and acts; he also brings upon himself the sufferings, which his vices produce. The dishonest man likewise garners his own suffering and happiness.
It is pleasing to human vanity to believe that one suffers because of one's virtue; but not until a man has extirpated every sickly, bitter, and impure thought from his mind, and washed every sinful stain from his soul, can he be in a position to know and declare that his sufferings are the result of his good, and not of his bad qualities; and on the way to, yet long before he has reached, that supreme perfection, he will have found, working in his mind and life, the Great Law which is absolutely just, and which cannot, therefore, give good for evil, evil for good. Possessed of such knowledge, he will then know, looking back upon his past ignorance and blindness, that his life is, and always was, justly ordered, and that all his past experiences, good and bad, were the equitable outworking of his evolving, yet unevolved self.
Good thoughts and actions can never produce bad results; bad thoughts and actions can never produce good results. This is but saying that nothing can come from corn but corn, nothing from nettles but nettles. Men understand this law in the natural world, and work with it; but few understand it in the mental and moral world (though its operation there is just as simple and undeviating), and they, therefore, do not co-operate with it.
Suffering is always the effect of wrong thought in some direction. It is an indication that the individual is out of harmony with himself, with the Law of his being. The sole and supreme use of suffering is to purify, to burn out all that is useless and impure. Suffering ceases for him who is pure. There could be no object in burning gold after the dross had been removed, and a perfectly pure and enlightened being could not suffer.
The circumstances, which a man encounters with suffering, are the result of his own mental inharmony. The circumstances, which a man encounters with blessedness, are the result of his own mental harmony. Blessedness, not material possessions, is the measure of right thought; wretchedness, not lack of material possessions, is the measure of wrong thought. A man may be cursed and rich; he may be blessed and poor. Blessedness and riches are only joined together when the riches are rightly and wisely used; and the poor man only descends into wretchedness when he regards his lot as a burden unjustly imposed.
Indigence and indulgence are the two extremes of wretchedness. They are both equally unnatural and the result of mental disorder. A man is not rightly conditioned until he is a happy, healthy, and prosperous being; and happiness, health, and prosperity are the result of a harmonious adjustment of the inner with the outer, of the man with his surroundings.
A man only begins to be a man when he ceases to whine and revile, and commences to search for the hidden justice which regulates his life. And as he adapts his mind to that regulating factor, he ceases to accuse others as the cause of his condition, and builds himself up in strong and noble thoughts; ceases to kick against circumstances, but begins to use them as aids to his more rapid progress, and as a means of discovering the hidden powers and possibilities within himself.
Law, not confusion, is the dominating principle in the universe; justice, not injustice, is the soul and substance of life; and righteousness, not corruption, is the moulding and moving force in the spiritual government of the world. This being so, man has but to right himself to find that the universe is right; and during the process of putting himself right he will find that as he alters his thoughts towards things and other people, things and other people will alter towards him.
The proof of this truth is in every person, and it therefore admits of easy investigation by systematic introspection and self-analysis. Let a man radically alter his thoughts, and he will be astonished at the rapid transformation it will effect in the material conditions of his life. Men imagine that thought can be kept secret, but it cannot; it rapidly crystallizes into habit, and habit solidifies into circumstance. Bestial thoughts crystallize into habits of drunkenness and sensuality, which solidify into circumstances of destitution and disease: impure thoughts of every kind crystallize into enervating and confusing habits, which solidify into distracting and adverse circumstances: thoughts of fear, doubt, and indecision crystallize into weak, unmanly, and irresolute habits, which solidify into circumstances of failure, indigence, and slavish dependence: lazy thoughts crystallize into habits of uncleanliness and dishonesty, which solidify into circumstances of foulness and beggary: hateful and condemnatory thoughts crystallize into habits of accusation and violence, which solidify into circumstances of injury and persecution: selfish thoughts of all kinds crystallize into habits of self-seeking, which solidify into circumstances more or less distressing. On the other hand, beautiful thoughts of all kinds crystallize into habits of grace and kindliness, which solidify into genial and sunny circumstances: pure thoughts crystallize into habits of temperance and self-control, which solidify into circumstances of repose and peace: thoughts of courage, self-reliance, and decision crystallize into manly habits, which solidify into circumstances of success, plenty, and freedom: energetic thoughts crystallize into habits of cleanliness and industry, which solidify into circumstances of pleasantness: gentle and forgiving thoughts crystallize into habits of gentleness, which solidify into protective and preservative circumstances: loving and unselfish thoughts crystallize into habits of self-forgetfulness for others, which solidify into circumstances of sure and abiding prosperity and true riches.
A particular train of thought persisted in, be it good or bad, cannot fail to produce its results on the character and circumstances. A man cannot directly choose his circumstances, but he can choose his thoughts, and so indirectly, yet surely, shape his circumstances.
Nature helps every man to the gratification of the thoughts, which he most encourages, and opportunities are presented which will most speedily bring to the surface both the good and evil thoughts.
Let a man cease from his sinful thoughts, and all the world will soften towards him, and be ready to help him; let him put away his weakly and sickly thoughts, and lo, opportunities will spring up on every hand to aid his strong resolves; let him encourage good thoughts, and no hard fate shall bind him down to wretchedness and shame. The world is your kaleidoscope, and the varying combinations of colours, which at every succeeding moment it presents to you are the exquisitely adjusted pictures of your ever-moving thoughts.
"So You will be what you will to be;
Let failure find its false content
In that poor word, 'environment,'
But spirit scorns it, and is free.
"It masters time, it conquers space;
It cowes that boastful trickster, Chance,
And bids the tyrant Circumstance
Uncrown, and fill a servant's place.
"The human Will, that force unseen,
The offspring of a deathless Soul,
Can hew a way to any goal,
Though walls of granite intervene.
"Be not impatient in delays
But wait as one who understands;
When spirit rises and commands
The gods are ready to obey."
Again, this is another powerful chapter from Mr. Allen. My only niggling thought is....what about people who are in poverty or oppressed? Surely their own thoughts have not caused their oppression. I suppose this is one of the main criticisms of the Law of Attraction. Where do these sorts of situations fit into this scheme of thinking? I'm not really sure and it sits uneasy with me.
That being said, I am again encouraged and challenged by the thought of how powerful my own thoughts are to my own circumstances. I am sure I have unwittingly (and sometimes knowingly) brought negativity and failures to my life. Now is the time to change those thought patterns and take a step towards my inner success.
It strikes me that 'success' as we define it currently, does not serve us well. There seems to be a feeling that success is external to ourselves. But if we turned that on its head and looked at it as an internal state, how would that change our view of our lives? Would it feel more or less successful? I have a sneaky suspicion that it would feel more ...a lot more successful.
In the end, though, I suppose the main thing to take away from this chapter is:
Whatever we spend time thinking about, is what will become true and real in our lives.
Let's think on that for a while....
Five For...Saying Sorry
Eventually... very eventually, I came across her Reading Journal. This is a book where the teachers can comment on the child's weekly reading tasks and parents can comment on their homework. It's mainly a communication tool between the teachers and parents. In it, there was a mysterious entry that said something about flashcards. It finally dawned on me, that MAYBE the envelope contained flash cards in it. I asked my daughter and she proceeded to tell me "yes, that's what Mrs. So-and-So said. We can work on what we don't know with the flashcards." Inside I wanted to scream, but I took a deep breath and through gritted teeth said "WHY didn't you tell me that to begin with?!" She shrugged in her 5 yr old way.
We went downstairs to get a snack and when I served it to her, I leant down, brushed her hair off of her face and apologized for yelling at her. I told her that I had misunderstood and thought she had done something she shouldn't and was sorry. I had barely got the words out of my mouth when she leant over and give me a big, squeezy hug. (The kind that are not very common when you're a 'big girl' these days.)
It struck me that so often as parents we are afraid to apologize to our children. If I hadn't chosen to do so in this situation I am sure that it would have been a little wound on her heart. These little wounds build up and lead to resentment and frustration, causing un-necessary pain that ultimately breaks down a loving, open relationship between children and their parents. It is also important for children to see their parents model good behaviour, After all, when they do something wrong, I am sure that 99% of us demand that they apologize. But if they don't see the adults in their lives doing the same thing, they get mixed messages. It does not make you weak as an adult to admit your mistakes to your children. They need to see that everyone makes mistakes and how to appropriately rectify them.
So, if you have an opportunity in the next few days, remember it's a great teaching moment to show your child how to handle making a mistake and making amends. I promise you, you'll feel great and your relationship with your child will become closer through it.
Five For...Your Purpose in Life
Do you ever get the feeling that 'someone' is trying to tell you something? Maybe it's something a friend says to you, maybe it's something you read in a magazine or newspaper or in a favourite blog *wink*, maybe a billboard that catches your eye...
I have been having one of those moments for the past few days. Everywhere I turn, someone seems to be talking about their purpose in life and how to achieve it. I know it's a popular topic these days. But it seems significant to me that it has crossed my path in such a cluster, three or four times a day for two days. Could it be...(dare I say it)....a MESSAGE? Is God trying to tell me something?
Those of you who know me will know that this has been something I have wrestled with over the last few years. Maybe it's THAT birthday (40), or maybe it's just my analytical nature. As I've mentioned before, I am a dreamer. It can be a lethal combination, being a dreamer AND being analytical. I have a tendency to get caught up in my own head sometimes. That being said, I have struggled to make the transition from 'going out to work' to 'staying home to work'. I had my first daughter five and a half years ago and it has taken me about five of those years to get comfortable with staying at home to take care of her (and then her two younger sisters) and finding a J-O-B that I can fit around my family.
I know it's a struggle that thousands of you out there share with me. What I am realizing more and more is that it's not really about the job. It's what the job represents. An identity. Specifically, a meaningful identity that OTHERS value. That's right....I've been valuing others' opinions more than my own. What makes it worse is that I've even been valuing strangers' opinions more than my family's and friends' (and certainly more than my own). When I write that on paper, it sounds... so....bad! But I have to face it, it's true.
There was a period in time when I used to answer people who asked me what I do with what I 'used to do' (before I had kids). Somehow, I just couldn't say "I'm a stay-at-home mum." People just don't rate it. Their standard answer would be something like "Oh. Then silence." Talk about a conversation killer! Talk about a confidence killer! I wanted to shout..."but wait, I was a counselor! I used to help people get their lives together! I'm intelligent! I have something to offer the world!" Instead, I'd slink away feeling like a big nothing. I even started to avoid going out to meet new people. I just couldn't face the eventual question that would lead to the scenario I just described.
Thankfully, I am past that now. The thing I wanted to share with you, the MOST IMPORTANT THING is...your purpose in life, your life's purpose, does not necessarily have anything to do with your job. Let me say that again, "Your purpose in life does not have anything to do with your job." It has to do with your contribution to the world around you. Now, you may be lucky enough to have the two coincide, but the two may just as easily be independent of each other. It has taken me a while to realize this.
The quote above by Carl Jung really speaks to me. I need to remind myself of his words every day. Am I kindling light today or am I contributing to the darkness by not giving of myself? Luckily I have been blessed to find my real passion recently. It's writing. Through my writing, I can share inspiration and information with thousands, even millions of people out there. And I'll admit it, getting paid to do it is a wonderful bonus. But I am also kindling light when I take care of my children and husband or make time to spend with friends. I am kindling light when I make my home a nourishing and inviting space for my family and friends. I am kindling light when I make the effort to smile and say hello to someone when I really just want to rush to my destination. I am kindling light when I volunteer to help out at church or school.
So, it seems that I have acheived my purpose in life, at least today.
What a wonderful thought!
Peace to all of you,
Five For...Making Children Feel Special
This Friday was one of those times.
I expected that it might be a tough night. The last day of the first week of school for two little ladies and getting up earlier than we have in months spelled a recipe for 'anything goes'. I thought I was prepared. I wasn't.
On our menu for the evening was pan-fried salmon, baked potatoes and corn on the cob. (It's the corn on the cob that's the important bit in the story so far.) The rest of the meal had been served up and my husband had gone back into the kitchen to get his plate. An altercation ensued between my eldest and middle daughters. The eldest tried to take the biggest piece of corn from her sister, citing that she was the biggest therefore she should have the biggest piece (not an entirely flawed argument). At this point, Hubby yelled in from the kitchen that the bigger piece actually was for her younger sister because she had helped make the meal tonight. That is when it happened.
Daughter #1 erupted into tears. I tried to reason with her, 'Darling, you can have the bigger piece next time. It's your sister's treat for helping with the cooking tonight.' This was met with loud, gasping WEEPING. Between the sobs, she managed to get out~ 'I'm not special' and then, almost yelling- 'DADDY THINKS I'M NOT SPECIAL!' She was nearly hysterical by now and kept repeating~ 'I'm not special.' She proceeded to sob, 'I was tidying up and when I was ready to help, there was nothing to do.' I was stunned. I actually sat there for a moment and didn't move, just watching her. (Please, PLEASE do not message me and tell me how bad of a mother I am...I've been beating myself up all weekend.) When I finally did, I pulled her onto my lap, stroking her hair and kissing her and trying to explain to her that Daddy DID think she's special. She finally calmed down (with a cuddle from Daddy too, of course.)
I've been processing this incident in my head all weekend now. Children, are so fragile. They need so much encouragement. If you have independent kids like I do, it is so easy to forget how much they need you when they're constantly trying to tell you that they don't. In the day to day 'trying to get by' it is so easy to let moments slip by when you can show and/or tell your kids how much they mean to you and how important they are. Here are five ideas to help you do just that.
1. Put down what you're doing to listen to your child when they're talking to you, and make eye contact.This can be easier said than done sometimes, but it shows how much you respect your child and also models good communication skills to them.
2. If you have more than one child, make sure to make one-on-one time for each of them. Even if it's only a walk or drive around the neighbourhood, a half an hour of uninterrupted time with them will show them that they are the most important thing in the world to you for that period of time.
3. Put a note in their lunchbox or schoolbag telling them how much you love them and how special they are.
4. Buy or make your child a special greeting card, just because. Send it in the post, complete with stamp.
5. Make a 'Jar of Loves' for each child.
Choose a container of some kind, (we will be doing this this week and using recycled jam jars). Decorate them with each child's name (you could do this as a project together and let them help with the decorating) Every day write down on a piece of paper something that you love about them or that they have done well and put it in the jar. At the end of the week, have a special time set aside to read all of the 'Loves' they have received that week. You may want to have a larger container in their room where they can store all of the 'Loves' and can read them anytime they are feeling low.
I hope some of these ideas help you to show your children how special they are. It is one of our greatest responsibilites as parents to build confidence and self-worth in them. The time and trouble you spend to do this will be worth far more to them than the most expensive toy or clothes that you could ever buy for them. They will thank you for the rest of their lives.
Five For...Sharing Words of Encouragement
Today is September 11....9/11...a day for remembering and reflecting.As a woman, an American and a Christian- I am choosing to use it as a day for personal as well as collective reflection.
As I do that, I'd like to share an experience with you.
A few weeks ago in the Orthodox Christian faith it was the Feast of the Dormition of the Theotokos. Theotokos is the title given to Mary, the mother of Jesus. In Greek it means 'God-bearer'. On this Feast her death and resurrection into heaven is celebrated.
I was at church on the Sunday after this feast (which fell on a Saturday this year) and was touched and inspired several times during the service. It actually brought me to tears.
At one point in the service the priest blessed her icon with incense. It was while he was doing this that the censer seemed to run out of incense. It struck me and I wondered if there was spiritual significance to this. As I was thinking about this, I looked up and saw that a small stream of smoke sputtered out of the censer. There was a pause, and then another sputter of smoke.
Ever so slowly, the censer seemed to come back to life. Immediately a dear friend of mine sprang to my mind. She and her husband have been suffering with the pain of infertility for several years now and no treatments have as yet been effective. I got this overwhelming sense that the censer was a representation of her womb and that just like the censer that had slowly sputtered back to life, God could bring her womb back to life too. I was careful to note that the message seemed to be that He 'COULD' but not necessarily 'would'.
After the censing of the icon the priest explained about Mary's death and the miracle of her being the only mortal being to be resurrected in both body and soul. How God saw fit to give her this honour and bring her eternal life even in death. Again, my friend came to my mind. I couldn't shake it.
I spoke to Father after the service. I wanted his advice about whether I should share this with my friend. I know the highs and lows she has been through and the last thing I wanted to do was to give her some kind of false hope that God had 'told' me He was going to heal her. She and her husband are believing Christians and a message like that could do more harm than good. Father advised me that he thought it would be ok to share this experience with my friend as long as I stressed that the message was that God COULD do this but not necessarily that He would. I understood what he meant and was in total agreement. I left church still mulling over the whole thing in my mind.
Unfortunately, the next couple of weeks were frantically busy for both of us and we never could seem to connect with each other. I didn't want to share the experience by email because I wanted to be able to discuss it with her. The ocean between us and the 5 hour time difference can sometimes make this tricky. It wasn't until yesterday that we caught up with each other and I shared what had happened. She asked me if the date of the Feast of the Dormition is the same as in the Catholic church. I told her that it is. She then told me something that made me physically start shaking.
Apparently on the Monday after this Feast day, she had an unexpected hemmorrhage. A few weeks after that, she had her first normal monthly cycle in ten years.
I was stunned.
Now, I myself have been healed of cancer through prayer alone. (A story I will tell at another time). I know healings can happen. But I approach things like this cautiously. Have we expereinced a miracle healing? I don't know...only time will tell. Have I given my friend some hope? I don't know...she is processing the information and if I was her, I would probably be feeling all sorts of emotions.
How does this tie into September 11, you might ask?
The main thing that strikes me is... things happen. At any time a tragedy could strike. Are you holiding some words of encouragement or love for someone? Please, don't. For all the families and friends of the victims of 9/11- don't keep it to yourself. Share it. I am sure they wished they had.
Let us all live in hope and love.
Peace to all of you,
Five For...Being a Great One
Yesterday was an day of introspection...this was caused mainly (but not exclusively) to two things...The first was the news of the death of Natasha Richardson.
Just 45 years old, leaving behind two sons only 12 and 13 yrs old....
This lady is not too far from my life. I will be the big 4-0 later this year, I have three young children and I like to do active things. In the past few years I haven't had the chance to be very physically active, other than running around after those little ones, but this year has been a year of change for me. I could see myself taking ski lessons just like she did. A freak accident that wasn't even major and two days later, she's gone.
The second was (surprisingly) an episode of Desperate Housewives...(don't judge me!)
In this episode, Eli, (Wisteria Lane's handyman) passes away on the very day he is retiring. (Ironic?) The show goes on to show flashbacks of how he impacted on the lives of the characters on the street. This man was not a showy person, he humbly went about his work. He was not a GREAT man with fame and fortune, but he was rich in his beneficence. He always had time for a kind word or interested ear. He also had a knack for sensing just what a person needed at the time and gave it freely. He may not have been a big star or someone who millions of people knew, but those who did know him admired him and his good works rippled outwards to those who didn't personally know him.
His character and a comment made by one of the other characters (Bree) spoke to me. In one of the scenes, she is asked why she doesn't get a job. She emphatically answers ("I HAVE a job....I am a HOMEMAKER.") Those of you who watch the show will know that her whole character revolves around her (sometimes over-evolved) skills as a homemaker. She really IS the 'perfect' housewife, although completely crippled emotionally- but that's a topic for another post.
Anyway, the reason it really hit home is because that very thing is something I have struggled with for the past 5 years. I am a SAHM to my three daughters. In my previous life, I had a career in counselling/psychology. It has been a real journey to accept that my work is now to help form these little people into human beings and run a household. My 'JOB' is a homemaker. But our society doesn't hold much value on this profession. It's as if you don't have a brain if you don't have a job outside the home. When you tell people 'I look after our kids and home full-time' after the inevitable question 'and what do YOU do?'...the answer is usually something like 'Oh'... followed by silence. Clearly you don't need a brain when on any given day you are a...
Housekeeper, Day Care Center Teacher, Cook, Computer Operator, Laundry Machine Operator, Janitor, Facilities Manager, Chief Executive Officer, Van Driver, Psychologist, Interior Designer, Administrative Assistant, Event Planner, Bookkeeper, General Maintenance Worker, Groundskeeper, Nutritionist, Staff Nurse - RN, Logistics Analyst
Anyway...what I really wanted to say is that the above two things have made me re-evaluate my life and my contribution to the world I am in...wherever that is. I may be a mum, but I can be a great one. I may be a teacher, but I can be a great one. I may be a woman struggling to keep all the balls up in the air, but I can be a great one. I may be 'just' a homemaker, but I can be a great one.
You never know what is around the corner, so, wherever you are...be a great one.
Peace and love to all of you.
